I have done nothing the days that I'm off of work which is a lot unfortunately. I have all my scrap booking stuff sitting on the dining table but I am totally unmotivated to do any of it. All I have been doing all day today and most of yesterday is sitting on the couch with Elvis watching tv. I am about to go crazy with all this extra time on my hands. I need more hours at work but they hired way too many new people so I never have enough hours. I thought I would be working 30 hours a week and this week I barely have 5 hours. That is ridiculous. If my schedule for next week is like this I am going to have to find a second job. I need the money so badly.
Hate
I hate waiting. I hate trying to be patient when I feel like I may explode on him. I hate that I feel like a crazy person any time I talk about it. I hate that some people look at me like I am a crazy person whenever I talk about it. I hate that I can't make firm plans. I hate crying because I've been waiting for 2 years. I hate crying. I hate feeling sorry for myself. I hate that he has taken this long. I hate that I hate that. I hate when he buys anything. I hate seeing my friends have what I want. I hate that they got it faster. I hate going. I hate that I feel so jealous. I hate myself right now.
I hate when Elvis looks at me with those huge puppy dog eyes and cocks his head to the side whenever I am trying to be mad at him because he chewed up something. I can't resist them. I just want to cuddle with him.
click-click
Confession: I love wearing heels. I don't wear them that often because I don't have much reason to. But whenever I wear them I feel as if I could conquer the world. They make me feel powerful, beautiful, and sexy. I wish I could afford to buy a hundred pairs of them. I only have like three which is not that many at all for girls. I had another pair that I loved because they made me super super tall but Elvis chewed them up. Sad day. I'm kind of excited about starting a career next year because that means I get to buy nice heels and actually have a reason to buy them. I just got a new pair and I've been wearing them around my apartment for the past 15 or so minutes. I feel like a model walking up and down the hall way. I know that is completely dorky. I'm becoming such a girly girl more every day. I think Grant likes it. :D