Hate

I hate waiting. I hate trying to be patient when I feel like I may explode on him. I hate that I feel like a crazy person any time I talk about it. I hate that some people look at me like I am a crazy person whenever I talk about it. I hate that I can't make firm plans. I hate crying because I've been waiting for 2 years. I hate crying. I hate feeling sorry for myself. I hate that he has taken this long. I hate that I hate that. I hate when he buys anything. I hate seeing my friends have what I want. I hate that they got it faster. I hate going. I hate that I feel so jealous. I hate myself right now.

I hate when Elvis looks at me with those huge puppy dog eyes and cocks his head to the side whenever I am trying to be mad at him because he chewed up something. I can't resist them. I just want to cuddle with him.